a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e-S

S – Speak well of others everyday

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

Ephesians 4:29

You ever watch the realty show, “Survivor.”  If you have, you probably notice that the really annoying people have no clue that they are annoying.  When the person has been voted out or heard what was said at tribal council, they are like “I had no idea” or “Do people really see me that way?”  This is an example of a person not realizing their “blind spot.”  All of us have them.  Some people have more than others.  The only way to find a “Blind spot” is when someone tells you.  That’s where good friends, spouses, siblings, etc will honestly tell you what they see in you.  They aren’t trying to hurt your feelings, but they think that you should know.  There are other people in your life that may use that “blind spot” to their advantage over you.  Seeking feedback is very beneficial.

This brings me to the “Johari Window.”  Yes, I know it is a secular psychological tool, but we can use it to uncover and deal with our sin.  At the beginning of this “ATTITUDES” study, we talked about understanding and dealing with our own sin before we start pointing out others’ sins.  That includes talking about people’s short comings behind their back (gossip).  Jesus stresses that we must have the right attitude if we wish to point out sin.

“Public” sin is what you know and other people know.  “Secret” sin is what you only know.  “Blind Spot” sin is what other people know but you don’t know or realize.  “Unknown” sin is what nobody knows but God.  If we expose “Secret” sin (disclosure) and deal with our “Blind Spot” sin (found by feedback), we might discover or minimize our “Unknown” sins as well.  The more open and transparent we have with our sin or our stumbling blocks, the more other people, ourselves, and God can also help us deal with our sin.

I use this as a lead in, because one of my “Blind Spots” is talking about people in a negative way.  It’s not that I don’t like the person.  It’s more that I’m disappointed with their actions or behavior.  Let’s read tonight’s verse in context, Ephesians 4:25-32.

25 Therefore, putting away lying, “ Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,”[e] for we are members of one another. 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”:[f] do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Previous to this section, Paul, the author of Ephesians, has discussed that unity and maturity are goals of the church.  In this section, Paul points out that purity is essential to believers.  Purity is defined as the condition or quality of being pure, freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, etc.  Now, we all know that none of us are perfect, but understanding possible pitfalls is a good way to know how to avoid them.  Paul writes to do not lie, sin, give the devil a place in your life, steal, be bitter, be full or wrath or anger, clamor, and speak evil. 

Let’s look closer at some of the words in our verse tonight.  “Corrupt” in this passage is the Greek word, sapros, which means rotten, useless, corrupt, depraved, putrid, over-ripe poor quality, unfit for use, unwholesome.  Sapros gives an impression of a funky smelling, disgusting fruit that curls your toes when you catch a whiff of it.  “Word” is the Greek word, logos, which in the Gospel of John meant Christ but here it means a person sharing a message, discourse, reasoning expressed by words.  “Edification” or oikodomé is the act of building, spiritual advancement, or constructive criticism and instruction that builds a person up to be the suitable dwelling place of God, where the Lord is at home.  Finally “Grace” or charis is a gift or blessing brought to man by Jesus Christ, favor, gratitude, and thanks.

Therefore, speak no rotten, useless, putrid, unwholesome word to anyone, but speak only words that give constructive criticism and instruction that builds a person up to be the suitable dwelling place of God, that your words will be a gift or blessing to them. 

The passage does not say that all corrupt speak is banned, but only the corrupt speak that tears a person down.  Criticism or identifying someone’s sin “Blind Spots” is good.  If you use your words to make yourself feel better, as revenge, to belittle, or to enrage, you are not modeling Christ to the point that you “grieve the Holy Spirit.”  The Holy Spirit of God would experience deep, emotional pain (sadness), severe sorrow (grief) that is as very intense as the pain of childbirth.  So, speak well of others everyday and provide feedback so others can be lifted up for God.