When can I stop "obeying" my parents?

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3

During our weekly Bible Study Group, we were studying these passages in Ephesians.  During the study and subsequent discussion, once someone is married you may no longer have to obey your parents.  Ephesians 5:31 states "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."  The primary responsibility of the man and the woman are to each other.  Sometimes, the decisions of the married couple may conflict with the parent's orders or wishes.  Ultimately, the decision rests with the husband.

But the group had this question, "If I'm not married, when can I stop obeying my parents?"  To answer this question, let's go the Bible and investigate key words and verses.

"Children" in the Greek is teknon (tek'-non) which means a child of either sex, descendant, inhabitant, anyone living on full dependence on the heavenly father, child living in willful dependence, illustrates how we must all live in utter moment-by-moment dependence upon the Lord drawing guidance, care, and nurture from our heavenly Father.  However in this verse, it means universally and without regard to sex, a child.  "Child" in English is defined as a young human being below the age of puberty (12 to 16 years old) or below the legal age of majority.  "Age of majority" is when you are no longer considered a minor.  This age varies from state to state, but in most states, the age is 18. Generally, the age of majority is designated sometime between age 18 and 21 in the United States.  Also notice that "children" is defined as "inhabitant" which means they reside or live in a place.

"Obey" in the Greek is hupakouó (hoop-ak-oo'-o) which means to listen, attend to, hearken to, obey, answer.  It is from the words hypó, "under" and akoúō, "hear" – properly, to obey what is heard (literally, "under hearing").  "Obey" is acting under the authority of the one speaking, for example really listening to the one giving the charge (order).  It suggests attentively listening, for example fully compliant (responsive).  The word conveys obedience and submission in this verse.  "Honor" in the Greek is timaó (tim-ah'-o) which means to fix the value, to price, value at a price, estimate, honor, reverence, assign value (give honor), as it reflects the personal esteem (value, preciousness) attached to it by the beholder, venerate, regard with great respect. "Obey" is the action where "Honor" speaks of the attitude, the motivation of the action.  The only limit on a child's obedience is when parents demand something contrary to God's Word, like believing in Christ if it is against their wishes. 

While under the parents' roof, while dependent upon them for their needs, or under the legal age of majority, a single person is required to obey and submit to their parents.  Once a single person is living apart from their parents, no longer dependent upon them, or above the legal age of majority, a single person must honor their mother and father which may require them to obey their wishes, for example handling the next stage of their life.  If you respect, revere, value at great precious price your mother and father,  you will receive God’s approval and a fulfilled life.  

Please be careful.  Remember the Christian Life is others focused not self focused.  Before not submitting or obeying your parents no matter what stage of life you are in, check your motivation to ensure it lines up with God's Word and will, that it is others focused.  2 Timothy 3:1-5 states "1 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"

Children, obey your parents in the Lord [that is, accept their guidance and discipline as His representatives], for this is right [for obedience teaches wisdom and self-discipline]. 2 Honor [esteem, value as precious] your father and your mother [and be respectful to them]—this is the first commandment with a promise— 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may have a long life on the earth.

Amplified Bible