Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which
is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you
may live long on the earth.”
Ephesians 6:1-3
During our weekly
Bible Study Group, we were studying these passages in Ephesians. During the study and subsequent discussion,
once someone is married you may no longer have to obey your parents. Ephesians 5:31 states "For this reason a
man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two
shall become one flesh." The
primary responsibility of the man and the woman are to each other. Sometimes, the decisions of the married
couple may conflict with the parent's orders or wishes. Ultimately, the decision rests with the
husband.
But the group had
this question, "If I'm not married, when can I stop obeying my
parents?" To answer this question,
let's go the Bible and investigate key words and verses.
"Children"
in the Greek is teknon (tek'-non) which
means a child of either sex, descendant, inhabitant, anyone living on full dependence
on the heavenly father, child
living in willful dependence, illustrates how we must all live in utter
moment-by-moment dependence upon the Lord drawing guidance, care, and nurture
from our heavenly Father. However in
this verse, it means universally and without regard to sex, a child. "Child" in English is defined as a
young human being below the age of puberty (12 to 16 years old) or below the legal age of majority. "Age of majority" is when you are
no longer considered a minor. This age
varies from state to state, but in most states, the age is 18. Generally, the
age of majority is designated sometime between age 18 and 21 in the United
States. Also notice that
"children" is defined as "inhabitant" which means they
reside or live in a place.
"Obey" in
the Greek is hupakouó (hoop-ak-oo'-o)
which means to listen, attend to, hearken to, obey, answer. It is from the words hypó, "under" and akoúō,
"hear" – properly, to obey what is heard (literally, "under
hearing"). "Obey" is
acting under the authority of the one speaking, for example really listening to
the one giving the charge (order). It
suggests attentively listening, for example fully compliant (responsive). The word conveys obedience and submission in
this verse. "Honor" in the
Greek is timaó (tim-ah'-o) which means
to fix the value, to price, value at a price, estimate, honor, reverence,
assign value (give honor), as it reflects the personal esteem (value,
preciousness) attached to it by the beholder, venerate, regard with great
respect. "Obey" is the action where "Honor" speaks of the
attitude, the motivation of the action.
The only limit on a child's obedience is when parents demand something
contrary to God's Word, like believing in Christ if it is against their
wishes.
While under the
parents' roof, while dependent upon them for their needs, or under the legal
age of majority, a single person is required to obey and submit to their
parents. Once a single person is living
apart from their parents, no longer dependent upon them, or above the legal age
of majority, a single person must honor their mother and father which may
require them to obey their wishes, for example handling the next stage of their
life. If you respect,
revere, value at great precious price your mother and father, you will receive God’s approval and a
fulfilled life.
Please be careful. Remember the Christian Life is others focused
not self focused. Before not submitting
or obeying your parents no matter what stage of life you are in, check your
motivation to ensure it lines up with God's Word and will, that it is others
focused. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 states "1
But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will
be lovers of
themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents,
unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control,
brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure
rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power.
And from such people turn away!"
Children, obey your
parents in the Lord [that is, accept their guidance and discipline as His
representatives], for this is right [for obedience teaches wisdom and
self-discipline]. 2 Honor [esteem, value as precious] your father and your
mother [and be respectful to them]—this is the first commandment with a
promise— 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may have a long life
on the earth.
Amplified Bible
